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Yeah...the title explains my current feeling. My mind is empty now, empty as in I am totally unprepared for exam, and this time trials. GOD, its a serious matter yet I am still keeping my mind empty. I  have tried to study, or at least scan through some notes. I just cannot stare any longer at my book, not even the second second. Even having myself to actually LOOK at it for the first second makes me feel proud. My mind is about blow, yes I know I have mentioned it is empty inside. Literally it is empty, but the fact tells me that it is full of irrelevants, to study of course. All I can conclude is that, it is empty yet about to erupt. Empty, erupt. No empty, erupt. No exam, no erupt. Mindfucked aren't you? Doesn't matter, I am too all the time.

Enough with the frustrating stories, I shall move on to something that unfucks my mind. A massive congratulations to myself! I have passed my driving license. ( not trying to be LOA but hey, it is something worth sharing. ) Sadly, my parents do not allow me to drive alone, and the only permitted passengers are them as well. That means I cannot bring anyone out until both of my coaches are satisfied with my performance. Too bad... Trust me, it does not last long. I'm going to be professional in no time! :D

Hmm...nothing special lately, everything seems to be fine as usual. Oh ya, the holidays. Though I spent most of the time in front of the computer, went out few times for badminton and many thing else that keep myself away from study, I do not find time is being wasted. At least I had fun. That is the main reason for having us living on this world I suppose. Only study when you find it is a joyful thing to do though it turns our mood down all the time. Even thinking about it makes me lose my enthusiasm in starting any non-study related task.  GAAAH I mentioned study again.

Well, I feel like speaking with my heart now, trying to let out my inner voice. Wouldn't feel this post is complete without a deep expression. From the outside, I would look like 'whatever' or maybe putting a smile on the face, trying to tell ' I don't care what people say.'  But the inside ( yes, you expected this right? ) , I do really care a lot about how others think about me. I therefore admit, I am easily offended, even by the slightest teaser. Or maybe something harmless can be eventually harmful to me. I'm not sure whether is this a matter of sensitivity or what, but every word you speak, I do take it seriously. Not trying to ask you to be careful with your words, on the other hand I truly want to listen to your opinion about me. Just speak pressurelessly :) YEAH! It is complete now. Anyeong! :x

Disappointment with Reaslisation

Fake and Lies. I've trusted everything like a naive fool. And now, I'm drifting away like a plastic bag, like no nobody's business. Nobody gives a damn, nor do I. Turning my head away, shutting my eyes slowly, taking a deep breathe is all I can do. After all these downs, I had alot of sudden realisation, I shall stop being so naive already. Perhaps I should, until I find someone who is reliable, someone who is really trustworthy, someone who makes me think I'm not just a plastic bag, but at least a recyclable paper bag...

BIG FAMILY BANG :')

Another BIGBANG post here, don't get vexed. Its totally not about k-pop, but BIGBANG, one of the best and united korean band. A big thank to Lii Xiang who recommended me to watch their '1night 2days' video. It truely impressed me, somehow. Watching them having so much fun together, share their euphoria and enthusiasm, totally reflects their strong and impenetrable friendship..or GANGship :D Yet it reminds me of, I don't have my own gang. :( I need one now.. Where are my true friends? :(

That seriously made me wanted to join them badly. And not to mention the serious true-feeling speech. Everyone of them took turn to stand out, and recap the old memories created together, and the true advices from deep in the bottom of their heart. That somehow forces my tears to rush out from my tear gland. :') ( But I didn't let it fall, lol )

BIGBANG is not just a band. Its a family. Where nobody get left behind, or forgotten. ( sounds familiar much eh? ) Yeah..I need true friends like them....

BIGBANG FEVER SHYT!

Zaman beralih, musim berubah. LOL An I-D-G-A-F-about-k-pop person like me miraculously infected by BIGBANG FEVER. And no, I totally didn't regret about anything, in fact, I realized something. The old tek was a genre-ist bastard! Boycott k-pop without knowing them deeply. But I guess its not too late for me to gain realization xD. WOW FANTASTIC BABY! I'm fantastic now, don't I? haha! ( yes, bra I know you're cursing me and totally went hardcore now. )

So, I've started to work on BLUE in piano version. Shell posted her cover anyway, but I still think my version is alot better LOL. To be precise, the version that we referred to. Today is the first day, I shall master this song by this week, hopefully.

Like I always do, for the third time. DANCE! WOOO~! I WANNA DAN DAN DAN DAN DANCE before I sleep. :D BOOM SHAKALAKA

Shellspiration :D

Shell said it's the last year of high school, we should crap out everything we got. Damn, I'm hiding too much stuffs, some are worth to share while some are not. With Shell's motivation and sudden inspiration after visiting various blogs, I'm back to replay my stereo again. For all of you. :D Memories are created, they have to be treasured. This obliquely links to my passion and desire towards photography, though I am not active and skilled. Photos do not change, memories are frozen, relocated and framed. We smiled in euphoria, cried a river, with no regrets. :) Okay, get me out from this serious situation!

If she's amazing, she wont he easy. If she's easy, she wont be amazing. If she's worth it, you won't give up. If you give up, you are not worthy. Does that means I'm not worthy...? You totally inspired me Miss Everdeen. :D But, I'm afraid to tell you, I'm not worthy. :( I often wander around, wondering, making foolish guesses, sometimes picturing ridiculous scenes, totally the impossible ones. But wait, why do I have to put myself into misery like this? Okay, a serious confession here. I've always afraid to enter the bathroom, where the only place I remove my 24/7 happy-go-lucky mask. The droplets of scintillating soluble crystals stroke my face continuously, often brings back those literally IDGAF memories. There was once, I refused to bath for hours just because to avoid myself from tearing inside the bathroom ( oh shit :x ). But still, tears did not fall.

I'm totally clueless of when can I end this intricate journey. It could be endless, or I skipped the road-block sign like a blind fool. Making a U-turn isn't a total bad idea afterall but, what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. :D NEVER GIVE UP SHELL! NEVER GIVE UP! :D

'Report of 2011'

During this very moment in 2011, I guess I was paranoid, busy worrying about how am I going to fit myself in 4S3 with all these strangers. One, just one person's name that seemed familiar in the 4s3 class list 2011. Sadly, she's no longer an ehstrian since the 2nd week of school. I'm FOREVER ALONE. Let's see... the first friend I made in 4S3 was Bryan Yap Ju Min. Can't really remember of how we recognize each other but I'm pretty sure we blinked our innocent eyes (though their no longer innocent now) whenever we made an eye-contact. Soon, we started to talk and befriend each other. :) Damn, he's evil. But I didn't regret knowing him. HAH

And so, I started to blend into distinct situation and get quite well along with my classmates. Somehow, a 4S3 group was founded in facebook,well in real life too, with the few of us flooding the chatbox all the time. In order to not to spam the all-time-silent chatbox, we created a small group, formerly named EPC to share our thoughts. Gladly, most of us are those active facebookers so the chatbox never get deserted like Ehstrian Gone Wild does. And the wall is always filled with epic posts, or somehow DIRTY. rm120? rm150? rm170? LOLOLOL and yaoi yuri all those kind of stuff which eventually contaminated my pure angelic mind. ( Honestly, I don't know how but their knowledge is x100000 greater than mine, probably still wondering where do they learn all those stuffs. )

Hmm Pangkor Class Trip eh..was the most joyful and memoriable one. Those precious memories, euphoria ( yes! VSOP) came across my mind frequently. I guess its hinting me about how lucky I am to able to meet these wildcats. Oh and...nyehehehe I couldn't resist myself from mentioning it so..gomenasai. Someone apparently made an indirect confession to someone in the game 'truth or dare'. Poof! They are couple now! And this leads me to my next topic. I'm not sure whether is it worth to be remembered since EPC separated into 2 with a problem originating from myself. The cold war happened for 2weeks. And the day the 'thunder' finally struck me for the first time in my life. Not only me, all the innocent ones were electrocuted. The tears rushing out from our eyes may be vapourised, but the memory stays. Wounds heal, scars don't. Not that I want to be pessimistic, but I just couldn't.

Whatelse eh...yeah! Not to forget the currently abandoned badminton gang. Seriously miss the moment we play Guardian & Angel. Sending each other epic letters, and mine with message in the form of lyrics. Both of my angel and master reciprocated to me with funny lyrics too. Meet up in hotels, put each other aeroplanes, sad, break up and more with those ridiculous impossibilities. Damn..my master was being harsh on me, criticized me and even roughly recognize me, causing me to be afraid of replying her letter -_- no, im not coward. I'm just being smart enough not to leave anymore hints in my letter. Who else? My epic angel was truely EPIC. I can't believe its her. If you're reading this... TELL ME WHO THE HELL WROTE THAT LETTER. Damn it!

I guess, just guess I'm done with this post. 2011 was the most thrilling + fascinating year. Too much dramas and fantasies! You better not disappoint me 2012, its my last high school year, make it a paradise! :D

Avatar :D

Ah... Your stereo is working again. Most of my friends are busy writting novel, reading and blogging about stuffs, I think I should do something too.

So, I'm back from Aussie trip, an annual family vacation along with another family, too. How pleasurable I could leave this hot-weathered tropical country and inhale some cool fresh air at Aus, though its summer over there. This is what I expect from a western country, beautiful, relaxing, gregarious citizens, well-controlled public safety and most significantly.. CLEAN. Fortuitiously, Aus did not disappoint me. Honestly, you can hardly spot a single rubbish on the ground no matter where you are, pavements, roadside, park or anywhere you can imagine. Unlike here, speechless. Oh yeah, not to forget a kinda miracle moment on Mount Wellington. It actually snowed during summer. I was joyful yet painful when the ice struck my face continuosly.

During night in the hotel, I watched an episode of 'Avatar : The last airbender' on TV. It's fighting scene was really cool. Then, I decided to search this awesome cartoon at home and start watching it.



" Water, Fire, Earth, Air. Long ago, the four nations live together in peace and harmony. But everything changed when fire nation attacked. Only the avatar, master of all four elements could stop them, but when the world needed him the most, he vanished. "

Wow, impressive! I can remember the opening line of that show. ( Of course, I heard it for at least 61 times ) By judging the intro above, I bet you acknowledged fire nation is evil, well, not all of them. Hmm... my favourite element is water :D . I don't know how but water somehow best describes me. And in my opinion, waterbending is the strongest, mostly because of its branch, bloodbending which enables the user to manipulate a blooded-creature. So what's your favourite element?


These two are my favourite characters. :D Zuko, the new firelord ( firebender ), a hot guy indeed and Toph, an earthbender. Well, she invented and practiced her own metalbending and sandbending, how brilliant. But sadly, she's blind :( Fortunately enough, her feet are her eyes :) It can sense the surroudings. Mind sharing who's your favourite character?

I highly recommend you if you haven't watch this awesome show. And watching cartoons does not show how sophomoric you are ( I'm mentioning myself ). So do give it a try if you're interested since it's holiday! Au revoir!